


Steven the Mascot

by CaptainJZH



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Gen, High School, Humor, Mascoting, School Mascot, Wacky Antics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:47:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22095847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJZH/pseuds/CaptainJZH
Summary: Peedee works as his high-school’s mascot, and aside from some unruly fans, it’s a pretty good gig. But one day he finds himself needing someone to cover for him and, well, there’s only one other person he knows who’s available on a Friday night.
Relationships: Connie Maheswaran & Steven Universe, Connie Maheswaran/Steven Universe, Pee Dee Fryman/Jeff
Comments: 7
Kudos: 74





	Steven the Mascot

“What do you mean, Ronaldo’s not at the Fry Shop?” Peedee asked into his phone. “Wait, you want me to do  _ what?  _ Dad, they need me here. Ugh,  _ fine,  _ I’ll find someone to cover. I’ll be right there.”

Peedee hung up, angrily putting away his phone. He was just walking into what his high school called “The Closet,” with Connie standing inside, waiting. Tonight he was supposed to be working as the school’s mascot, Billy the Beach County Cougar, with Connie as his so-called “escort” (to ensure that he didn’t fall over and get himself killed), but  _ someone  _ was a lazy ass and didn’t show up to his other job, leaving him in a pickle.

“Connie… I’m really sorry,” Peedee said after explaining why he had to leave immediately. 

“No, no, I understand,” Connie nodded. “You can go, I can handle this.”

“But it’s the Homecoming game! I feel bad—”

“I said it’s  _ fine,”  _ Connie reiterated. “Now go, before the fries get cold.”

“Thanks again, Connie,” Peedee said right before running back out. 

Connie groaned the second Peedee was out of earshot, looking around the small, box-filled room for some kind of answer. She wasn’t Student Spirit Support Assistant for nothing. “Additional duties as assigned,” the job description had said, and in the event of a student being unable to mascot, she would have to take the reigns, and she  _ really  _ didn’t want to put on the hot, heavy, sweaty suit that wasn’t ventilated in the  _ slightest.  _ Besides, she wasn’t even the right size…

_ Wait. _

Connie had an idea.

\---

“Connie!” Steven exclaimed as Lion emerged from the portal into the school gymnasium. “What’s the problem?”

“How tall are you?” Connie asked him on the spot.

“5 foot 6, why?”

“Great, I have the perfect job for you.”

\---

“Connie?” Steven shouted from inside the suit, his voice being all but muffled by the padding and fur. “I can’t see!”

“That’s normal!”

Billy the Beach County Cougar was one of the crappiest mascot costumes in their division. While other schools had big, foam mascots that actually matched the school’s branding, Billy was indistinguishable from any other cat-based mascot, leading to  _ dozens  _ of misconceptions. Everything from lions, tigers and bears (“oh my!”) to cheetahs, squirrels and mice had been hurled their way, by dumbass parents who had no idea what a cougar looked like.

“Thank you so much for doing this,” Connie told Steven, who nodded in response. Connie led the suit-clad boy across the dark parking lot to the football field, where the game was just starting. “Now just remember: Don’t talk, raise your hand if you need a break, and always watch out for small children. Peedee’s accidentally kicked, like, three kids down the bleachers.”

Steven gulped, but Connie didn’t hear him.

\---

Once the game got going, while Steven admittedly knew nothing about football, it was pretty fun. He took pictures with kids, danced around in front of the stands and hung out with the school band, who were pretty cool if he was being honest. 

He even saw Jeff, Connie’s friend, on the flute. During a break, he leaned towards the ear of the costume, and whispered “My mom’s out tonight,” giving him a wink. 

_ Oh,  _ Steven thought.  _ I guess he and Peedee are a thing. I should really keep up with that. _

Before Steven could give Jeff a (confused) response, screams suddenly erupted from the other side of the stadium. Looking up, Steven could make out the form of a giant Corrupted Gem, probably a quartz of some kind, tearing through the goalposts. The players immediately fled for their own safety, as did the crowds in the bleachers. 

Steven did not, however, jumping up onto the field and summoning his shield. Connie followed, pulling her sword out from her backpack. As they both approached the Gem Beast, Connie thought they were going to fight side-by-side, but then Steven (still in the mascot costume) grabbed her hand and made his gem light up. Connie began to light up as well. Their forms finally coalesced into Stevonnie, who was a  _ bit  _ too tall for the costume, but they made it work.

“Huh,” Stevonnie remarked inside the suit. “Well, I guess Billy can do sword-and-shield combat now.”

Leaping up into the air, Stevonnie threw Connie’s sword at the monster, shooting straight through it. The monster disappeared in an explosion of smoke and dust, leaving behind a gem, which Stevonnie bubbled away immediately. The fusion then turned around to find a crowd of fans watching them, who burst into applause at what they perceived to be “Billy’s” feat. All Stevonnie could do was smile and wave.

After all, they couldn’t break character.

\---

_ “I saw him! Billy the Cougar just jumped up into the air and punched the thing like a superhero!” _

_ “He has to do that at all the games now. What a halftime show!” _

_ “He’s so dreamy… Yes, I know he’s an anthropomorphic cat, give me a break!” _

The local news following the game was abuzz with people gushing over “Billy’s” actions that night. People were already making T-Shirts showing Billy the Cougar fighting the Gem Beast, and the school was even planning to hold fake battles for him during breaks in the game. Of course, Connie still didn’t tell the administration that it wasn’t Peedee in the suit, but she could work with this. Peedee deserved a break.

It’s not like Steven was busy Friday nights.

**Author's Note:**

> This was largely inspired by my own job as my college mascot. Many of the things covered here are true to life! Aside from monster attacks, of course.


End file.
